Before I went from a super-obese woman to relatively normal sized, I lived a life of denial and lies. I did not know that I was lying... I truly believed that I was a victim and that it was impossible for me to lose weight. I truly believed that I was picked on at work and that nobody liked me. I truly believed that I would never have friends and certainly would not find love in this lifetime.
Well, over the past seven years, all this has been proven wrong. I've learned that it's extremely important for me to live an honest life. I must confront and deal with issues rather than pretend that they don't exist. Procrastination is another form of being dishonest, and I try not to partake in that habit although lately it's been a little bit harder. In fact it's been harder as of late to live the truth. And today was interesting in that I purposely deceived my friends and loved ones, knowing that I was representing myself and my home not as it really was.
I got a late start to Slimmons - what else is new? - and didn't have time to pick up my home before leaving. Of course that was an issue because Temmy was due over here at 2 for some beading therapy, and Eric was stopping by with the kids to drop off paper goods that he had picked up for me at Costco. (I'm so lucky to have him! Who else would have been that nice?) My condo was a disaster zone, and I didn't want to be embarassed.
Well, I only got home at about 1:40, so I did some fast throwing of dirty clothing into my bedroom closet and quickly made my bed. I straightened out the living room, putting all the jewelry, beads, and parts that I had left scattered over the dining room table during Fawn's visit last evening away. So far, everything was fine because my dirty clothes belong in the barrel I keep in the closet, and I don't mess with the jewelry. I put it in it's appropriate containers and although I didn't put them into the studio, I did put them into a single basket which will make storing it easy to deal with in the morning.
Then I looked around the living room. Oy vey! It was REALLY dusty in there. You have to understand. I live about 100 feet off of the 101 Freeway, one of the busiest freeways in the country. There is a dusty grime associated with living near a freeway that gets all over everything, and is hard to remove. Still, I ran into the studio, grabbed the duster and quickly went over the furniture. I barely even moved stuff, but got the obvious grime off of the surfaces. Looked around the room Pretty darned organized.
Then I looked at the floor and realized that it was, once again, adrift in dog hair.
OY VEY! It's now 1:53 and Temmy is due in 7 minutes!!!!!! No time to pull out the broom, definitely not time to vacuum (which I what I normally do to deal with the hair). But inspiration hit me... inspiration that I don't know why I didn't realize a long time ago. I used the duster to pull all the dog hair out of the corners and away from the walls, getting underneath the furniture and into crevices that no other means ever would have dealt with as well. Note to self: going forward, before vacuuming or sweeping, use the duster to gather dog fur into piles.
I grabbed a paper bag out of the kitchen pantry and ran from pile to pile, picking up the hair and making the paper-bag deposit. Of course that left piles of dirt that I tried to deal with in the same manner, but fingers don't work so well on it, and I was running out of time.
1:57. OMG! Temmy's home, when I've been over there, has been spotless! She is an extremely elegant woman, smart and talented and with everything going for her. I don't understand why she likes coming over here anyway... she's slumming it when she visits. What am I going to do? THREE MINUTES! And then it hit me. I can sweep it under the rug. Literally.
Most of the dirt was located either near the front door of the condo, or near the refrigerator. Convenient. I have a cheap rubber-back runner on the tile in the entrance from outside, mainly to pick up mud and debris off of dog paws when they come in from outside, but it also works very well this time of year as a non-skid appliance for when it's raining. By the refrigerator is Sunny's bed.
So I did it. Just like in the cartoons that I watched when I was a kid. I picked the corner up of the rug, used that duster, and swept all the piles of dirt under the rug that were near the front door. I moved quickly over to the kitchen and did the same, depositing the debris underneath Sunny's bed.
Temmy came and went; so did Eric, Gabby, & Miles. I got busy with dinner and then getting a good start on two "Never Give Up" Motivation bracelets that I will finish in the morning and list in my "Making It!" shop on Etsy. Realized that it was after 10 pm and I had to pick up the kitchen still. Put the food away, came to blog, wondering what I was going to talk about today, and as I sat down at the computer it occured to me.
I had swept the grime of my life under the rug. Literally. How embarrassing.
This blog is my confessional. I did it. I misrepresented myself. But am I going to do anything about it? Not tonight. Probably not tomorrow. Most likely not until I need to wash the rug and/or need to move Sunny's bed. Up until then, I will have a secret that only you and I will know.
Can you keep a secret?
28 posts in 28 days. Today is day 13.
No comments:
Post a Comment