Inspiration

In the weight loss world, the word "Inspiration" is often used freely and, IMHO, way too liberally. Many have said that I am an inspiration; in a sense I understand it because I've lost more weight than I know what to do with (even with the current gain in consideration), but in all honesty, I don't fit the weight-loss mode. I did not decide to lose weight, decide what to do, and then do it. Rather, I relaxed into the process and whatever happened, happened.

That's probably part of my issue in getting back on track now. I am thinking about the problem day and night, trying to figure out what I was doing then that I am currently not. The answer is simple. Thinking.

Stop with the analysis. Stop with the agonizing. I need to just do it.

This revelation came to me as I was finishing up the back of the neck piece that I blogged about yesterday. The front has been done for quite a while; I did not plan how it would end up; rather it just came to me during the process. (Click on image to see a larger photo.)



The back, I agonized over, and it wasn't happening. My work was second rate and I knew it. There are some situations where 'good enough' is 'good enough,' but in art - and this piece is not just jewelry, it's Wearable Art - I need to be exceptionally comfortable with the end product. I stalled and delayed, working on it, but even telling S- (my friend and client) that I was getting fearful as I was working, and put it aside for days and sometimes as much as a week. Fortunatly, she is a very patient woman, and did not pressure me.

A month ago, after agonizing whether or not to attend (will they like me? will they accept me?), I finally made my way out to Creative Castle for a Beading Group that meets on the second Tuesday of every month. There is a big difference between the women who attend these meetings and me. They're highly educated, and very likable. They are amazing crafts people, and have all sorts of knowledge that I don't posess. But they were all working from charts, patterns, and graphs. They are artisans. I'm not. My ideas come straight out of my head. Apparently, I am an artist.

They took one look at my work, were amazed at what I had created, but immediately launched into Critical Issues. I treasured their input; I only want to be known for excellence. I absorbed everything they told me, applied it, and finished off the back of neck piece earlier today. (Click on image to enlarge.)



The thing is, I had no plan. All I knew when I restarted this project was that I was going to use my Gold Foil Leather because it would be brighter than what I had originally chosen, and would compliment the gold plated beads on the front. I had no idea until I started it, that I was going to put a web on the piece, and certainly did not know that it was going to be a spider's web until the very last when suddenly it occured to me to put a Swarovski Crystal in the back surrounded by AB Delica beads. I didn't know I was even creating the spider until it was done.

"Oh. My. God!" I said out loud. "O.M.G."

And this is when it was reinforced what was good and different about my work in beads. It is the same thing that allowed me to lose so much weight. I relax into the process, understanding that it isn't really me that's driving. Then I allow whatever it is that IS in charge to conduit itself through my mind, my hands, my body. I now gladly accept the mantle of Artist, but do not take credit. I am simply channeling a force that was waiting to express itself.

I am facing some significant challenges in the weight loss arena right now. I was up several more pounds this morning; I'm not going to comment here about what's going on except that it's time that I made an appointment with my Internist. Stress eating is also a big contributor. But I suddenly realized at the completion of the neck piece that the bigger reason that I am struggling right now is because I am trying to force the process.

I need to relax into the situation. Stop fighting it. If I need a Doctor's help, it's time to face the music and seek out the help that I need. If I am stress eating, I need to channel that stress into another activity. It's what I used to do.

It's time to apply the Artist's Touch into my life.