Oh Gawd, I've done it again. Blathered at the mouth without considering how it might be read on the other side of the internet communication. This is the second time this week.
Writing a blog, or responding to other's posts, is usually a joyful occasion for me. I first learned how to reach out and interact with people who were to become my best friends thanks to the internet. I was brave on line. There was nobody to judge me for my appearance, or whatnot.
But writing on the 'net has it's issues too. For me, the main one is that it doesn't seem quite real. It constantly amazes me that my words are read and reacted to. It's actually hard for me to believe that when I type words into my computer, they can be read anywhere in the world. For example, when Eric & I attended TNNA last year, we came across a grouping of computer screens in the center of the trade show for the convenience of the conventioneers. He changed all the empty screens to my web site. It was a sobering moment for me. I realized at that moment that complete strangers could see what I had done in my bedroom at my rickety desk, by myself at my computer. It's a moment that is still sobering for me.
Another issue is that words that sound wonderful in my head, and are intended to evoke one response sometimes seem fine even as I type them. But then I get a different reaction after they're published, and I'm astounded. I would never purposely write something to hurt anyone else; but sometimes it happens anyway.
I don't know. Are my foibles enough that I should consider dropping my blog? Or are kind intentions along with sincere - and horrified-at-what-I-did - apologies enough (along with revising what I wrote), and do they heal? I know that once a bell is rung, it cannot be unrung again.
I don't want to wreak havoc across the universe because of moments of bad judgement... I need to learn to recognize words for what they are. In advance of committing myself to them for all to see. Is that possible?