Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Thank You

This is my dog. This is my dog eating his bone. This is my dog not responding to my calls while eating his bone while hiding behind and underneath my loom where I found him only with great difficulty.

Any questions?

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I'm startled at the number of responses and messages of support that I have received after yesterday's mellow-dramatic post. Everything from discussions about the politics of Guilds and other clubs, to letters from others identifying having the same feelings. From shock that I feel isolated and alone, to constructive comments about how - and where - to find a new life and friends who didn't know me before and therefore can't compare. And most of all, you could knock me over with a feather about how most of the respondants see me. Very different than I see myself.
Awkward and scared most of the time, I never seem to know when I am saying and doing the right thing vs. putting my foot in my mouth. Most of the messages received say that I appear to be confident and brave. I feel like I have a complete lack of talent when I compare what I make to those who are making things around me. Many of the people who wrote say that I am one of the most creative people that they have ever met. I feel like I have a sub-par intellect while almost universally I'm told that I'm smart... a not insignificant percentage of the responses saying that I should consider going back to school and getting another degree. I know how weak and ill I really am while a good portion of my messages say that I am "beautiful and strong."
I don't understand how there is such a conflict of viewpoints! Are you-all just being kind? Or do I not know myself as well as others do? Am I my own worst critic? Or are you-all too forgiving? Or maybe you're just too far away geographically and don't get the whole picture?
I'm not fishing for compliments or looking for more messages of support. I'm just really confused and trying to sort it out in my own brain.
And one thing that I wonder... am I so awkward because I really am sub standard or is it just that I have not been in the right social circles? I know that when the Fab 4 is in town, I don't feel awful at all. In fact, I feel bright and confident and able to take on the world. Like they bring out the best in me. But then again, I know that they feel the same way when we're together. "The sum of the whole is greater than the individual parts." But would it be that way if we were around each other all the time or would it become mundane and ordinary and subject to all the same insecurities that I feel in all my other day-to-day relationships?
Mainly, I'm just confused. But I'm going to take a page right out of the "Fab 4" rulebook while I mull this all over and end this diatrabe with one statement. Thank you!

* - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * Now on to a more happy subject. China painting. Had another class today... am making progress on both the trivet and the mug. I took quite a number of pictures; most of them came out blurry. I'm especially disapointed at the ones from the end of today's class where so much more color is laid down than you see in the photographs that I am posting. But you get the idea...

And to finish off, the next piece is NOT mine... it's made by my teacher Shelly Neimerow. But it's so gorgeous - like she is - that I had to show it. Yes, it's for sale. I'm looking for where I put her e-mail address and as soon as I find it, I'll post it. No, I don't know how much she is asking. And no, she does not currently have a web site, but is working hard to get it up and on line. In the meantime, if you want to get hold of her, contact me and I'll put you in touch.
UPDATE: Contact Shelly by clicking here!

She will be doing a trunk show at Creative Castle in Agoura this weekend. If you want to see some spectacular works of art and live in the area, you should make a point of stopping in. I can promise you won't be disappointed.

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