Wednesday, January 16, 2008

A Note from Cosmos

Hello. My name is Cosmos and I am the Dalmatian who owns Mom.

She and I live in a condominium with my stupid brother Sunny. He is a great big mutt and we are only brothers by adoption. I do appreciate him sometimes, though, because he runs interference for me when Mom doesn't understand what I am asking for.

I have never posted on a Blog post before, but I've seen my Mom do them a lot I'm not sure exactly what to expect, but Blog rhymes with Log, and Log goes with Cabin and I really like pancakes with syrup on them. So I'll see what happens as I go along.

Mom goes to something that she calls "Exercise Class" several times a week. I am ambivilent about this activity. I do not approve of it because she leaves me at home when she goes. I require constant care, attention and feeding or my spots might fall off. If she is gone, I don't get fed.

On the other hand, when she comes home from this "Exercise Class," more often than not, she is in a good mood. Additionally, she is usually hungry. That means that she will make some food and that is an opportunity for me. You never know when she might succumb to my sad puppy-dog eyes and give me a treat. You never know when she might turn her back on something she is cooking that is good to eat like chicken or pie crust and give me an opportunity steal it.

But tonight, she came home full of complaints. Apparenty her friend and mine, Michelle, was very sneaky in class. Instead of staying by the lobby doors where Michelle usually exercises, she suddenly turned up directly behind Mom half way through the class, scaring her in the mirror.

First of all, I do not approve of mirrors. When I look in one, invariably, there is another dog that is looking back at me. If I stare that dog in the eye, it stares back at me. It does not know when to back down, either. It raises it's hackles when I raise mine, and it growls and barks at the same time that I do. So that being said, even though Michelle and I are very close and have had a long-term e-mail relationship, I do not approve of her jumping into the mirror.

Now comes the question of motive. There is two sides to being sneaky. Of course, I disapprove of the sky and all it's sneaky activities. It was at it again last week, you know. Here I was, just going about my business without a care in the world. Then, the sky threw clouds over my home and dropped water into my world. It also dropped water on my back. I am not in favor of baths and I am not in favor of sky showers either.

The sky also sometimes bangs on our ceiling in an activity that Mom calls "Re-roofing the Condominium." It hangs helicoptors over my home and sometimes throws planes too. And the activity that I find even more insideous is that of flashing lights into my home and banging drums outside of my window. Sometimes I go outside and try to bark it into submission when it does that, and it throws chunks of ice at me. The sky is a terrible, sneaky thing.

On the other hand, sneaky can be a good thing too. For example as I mentioned above, if Mom turns her back on food, I do enjoy taking a taste or if I am very lucky, the whole thing. You have to be fast and quiet to get away with that, though.

Also, there are times that I like to leave Mom gifts on the TV room or bedroom carpet. She protests, saying that it wasn't necessary and that I should have just left them outside, but I know that she loves me and I want to leave her something of me that is memorable.

So Michelle's activity tonight begs the question, why was she being sneaky? Is she related to the sky and did she want to scare Mom? Was she hungry? Or did she just intend to deliver a present?

I don't know. I will need to think about this. After my next meal.

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