The Cost-Benefit Equation

This morning as I awoke - indeed even during those wakeful moments over night, I thought to myself "What have you done?" The voices of a few of my doctors made their way through my mind too. Dr. Bluestone: "You must be careful about what exercise you do and how much you do of it. Absolutely pursue it because your mobility depends upon it, but move forward with caution." Dr. Sisto and also Rocky, my Physical Therapist: "You must baby your knees along if you expect to continue walking." Dr. Muti: "What are you doing hurting yourself?" And there's no question at all that I hurt this morning. Badly. You see, last night I went bowling.

"Bowling?" you ask. Yes, bowling. I was lucky enough to have been invited by Helen and Diane to their open house to be followed by a trip to their local bowling alley. Jan and Paula were there too. And Eric, good sport that he is. And I happily went along, having wanted to try bowling out for quite a while, even knowing that I am not a good bowler. Ok, an awful bowler. No, not even awful. More along the line of "You may laugh at me as much as you like during our game, but you are never to divulge my score once we leave this alley." Everyone happily agreed, and I was thrilled to finally do the do after a break of some 35 years.

Eric has a history in bowling. He belonged to a silly league in which his team were known as The Centurians and each of the members chose Roman names to bowl under. I will not divulge his name here, but we quickly agreed that he should come up with Roman names for us too. Names befitting our interests and status.

Me? To reflect my interest in beading... Jewelus Makus
Diane? Interested in the heavens... Starus Burnus
Jan? A photographer... Clickus Shootus
Helen? Teacher of swimming and interested in all things aquatic... Aquaius Finnis
And Paula? Interested in all things James Joyce... Iris Pubus (like pub... get your mind out of the gutter - lol!)

I was thrilled that our alley had bumpers, but discovered after several turns that I did not need them. Paula - the split queen because even though this was her very first time bowling ever in her whole life kept knocking down impossible split pins - relied on them more, but turned in very respectable scores. But even more impressive than her numbers was her victory dances when she would knock down the pins. Jan, Diane, & Helen had clearly been there more often and actually were very good.

I did quite well for me. My first game netted me 89 points.



That was actually a personal best. You see, my average score before this night was 25. But my second game? I seemed to find my stride and ended up with a whopping 134!!!!! Several strikes and spares. WOW!




Between the games, we stopped to eat. Bowling alley food. I knew that this was the last hurrah before the holiday season eating was grinding to a halt, and ordered a Turkey Burger and Steak Fries. Ate the whole burger and about 2/3 of the fries. Eric, worried about what i was eating, especially since I clearly stated that I knew I was going to be sick from them even as I downed them like a dog to food, took about 1/3 for himself. And I could feel the salt and grease permeating my system and I started to smell like them and I could feel my joints swelling from the water retention. I didn't care. And even this morning as I got on the scale and I was up to 155 pounds, I don't care.

I am feeling pretty sick from them this morning too, but I repeat, I don't care. I started off the day with a good breakfast and recorded it on my food sheets. And know what's for lunch and will record it too. And have to go shopping at the farmers market and get ready for Ian's 2nd overnight here where we are going to make castles and I don't care. Because the holiday eating is over and it's time to get back down to business in that department now.

But back to the bowling.

I could tell that I was doing a little damage to myself, even as my partners-in-crime were congratulating me on how well I was doing physically. And socially too. Again, like at Francesca's party, I was not awkward at all. Felt like I was amongst my own (even though the focus of this event and the type of people were quite different) and didn't feel like I said too little or too much. I hope it's true. It would be quite unique to have done well two times in a row at social events.

This morning, I can hardly move. My back is very bad as is my bad elbow, my neck, and my knee that I hurt during the falls a few weeks ago, I now know for sure needs an MRI. But this is where the Cost-Benefit Equation comes in.

What did last night cost me? A few pounds. A very painful morning. How did it benefit me? A fantastic time. An experience with people that I rarely socialize with but enjoy that turned out very well. A Roman name.

All actions have consequences. Nothing is ever for free... given without strings. We have to look at our choices and make our decisions. Do we move forward and take our chances? Or do we stay home, sequestered and safe, but lose out on the experiences that we would have enjoyed?

I spent many years by myself. I know what they got me. I'm moving out in the world now. Scared to death on so many fronts. But definitely reaping some rewards for the action too.

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Just like Rodney Dangerfield before me, I get no respect. Clearly my sister has already read my blog. Within 10 minutes of posting it, I received an e-mail from her on a different subject, but it started out:

Dear Jointus Swelllus,

I suggest you meet up with my dear friend advilus maximus.