Monday, October 1, 2007

Who Eats This Stuff?

Who Eats this Stuff?

Tonight I made a Tuna Salad for dinner, emphasis on the salad part. I started by chopping several stalks of celery, very tiny. That's necessary because the fiber otherwise plays hell with my system. Then I added bean sprouts, sliced water chestnuts, and chopped red onion. After all of that, I opened up a can of tuna, only to realize that I had mistakenly purchased the kind packed in oil rather than water. Oops. I washed it off thoroughly, knowing that part of the oil would have been absorbed by the fish while in the can, but not wanting to waste it, I decided to accept the extra calories. Best Foods Salad Dressing added to the salad after the tuna and I was good to go.
But given the extra unexpected calories that I added by oil-packed tuna, I decided to check my calorie book for the other ingredients to make sure that they were really low. Except for the Best Foods which is clearly marked on the jar at 40 calories per TB.

All was well. Celery - 10 calories per cup. Same for the Bean Sprouts. Water Chestnuts, 50. And then I got to the Onion. 40, but that wasn't the problem. Immediately below the chopped fresh onion section, I noticed it. Opossum. 3 oz, roasted. 188 Calories.

Oppossum? Who's eating Opposum? Probably the same people who are eating Squirrel. 3 oz roasted, 150 calories. So I decided to look through the book and see what other "unusual" listings that I could find. It wasn't hard.

Moose? Somebody's eating Bullwinkle? I guess he would probably be on the same buffet as Squirrel. Moose. Roasted. 114 calories. Bullwinkle can be eaten for fewer calories than Rocky.

Dock and Drum. What in the world are they?

And then Beth did it. She suggested that I look up the calories in "Beaver." As a joke. But sure enough, Beaver was listed. Just below Bear. Beaver. 140 calories for 3 oz roasted. But 141 calories if it's simmered. What are we supposed to simmer it in for one additional calorie?

And Bear. It apparently is only cooked simmered. 220 calories for 3 oz. Where, in your market would you find Bear? Probably on the opposite side from Bull.
And none of this post is bull. Calorie Counter. More han 20,000 listings, by Annette B. Natow and Jo-Ann Heslin. ISBN # 0-8434-9265-X

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