Brownies, Resolved

When I last left you, I was dying. There were brownies in the living room with my name stamped on each and every one of them. Oy. I wanted to eat those brownies, I knew that I wanted to eat those brownies, and I even almost did.

I received quite a bit of feedback (pun intended) on this subject; it was interesting not only for the varying opinions, but also who said what given each person's background and philosophy as I know it. Opinions ranged from freezing them or putting them in places I wouldn't go to (like that exists - lol!) to eating one and giving the rest away or giving them all away immediately, to dumping them in the garbage. In the end, though, I ended up going a different route.

I am still dealing with significant illness, some of it from my initial disease, and just as much because I am immune suppressed. I have been running fevers - high fevers - almost daily now, with a bunch of diffuse symptoms that seem to mostly go away when I take Tylenol. (The fever goes away too... Tylenol is magic!) The day after I did my post, I was suffering from one of those fevers, and rather than dealing with it right away, I forgot that there was Tylenol on my bedstand and put up with the symptoms for hours and hours. Sometimes I just forget in all of my misery. Without fail, I prefer crying to eating during these times, and the brownies were out of my mind.

I was so sick and upset that Eric volunteered to come over. He did, reminded me that I had Tylenol, and then proceeded to entertain himself on my computer while waiting for my attitude to improve. Part of his self-entertainment system includes e-bay, but he always stops by my blog.

Even when I am saying things that are not meant to be funny, he seems to get a chuckle out of them. He was quietly laughing when I asked him "What?! What's so funny?" Apparently my frank admission that I had other official motives for ordering those brownies, but what I really wanted was to eat them tickled his funny bone. Then he turned to me and said "You know, brownies just don't do much for me at all. I can put them in the trunk of my car until Saturday when we go to that party where you intended to use them as a hostess gift."

My internal reaction was ambivilent. Yippee! They will be out of my house, and the dilema will be solved. Oy! They will be out of my house and the option of eating them will be removed.

I countered by asking him if it was really fair to expose them to him for that amount of time. Eric struggles with weight as I do. But he assured me that if they were potato chips, it would be one matter, but brownies were nothing that he was interested in. 'Come on!" he said. "It takes care of all your problems at once, and I'm going to drive us to the party on Saturday anyway." And so I reluctantly agreed.

When he left a couple of hours later, my heart was in my throat. I was hoping that he might forget. After all, once the brownies were removed from the scene, the option of eating them was also removed. But No. He remembered. He stopped by my coffee table in the living room (the one where I could not fail but to see them whenever I went into the kitchen, walked down my hall, used the guest bathroom, walked in and out of the condo), packed them into their shipping carton again, and tucked them under his arm. I feigned gratitude and happiness. "Thank goodness that you're taking them out of here." I whispered with love in my eyes and a giant ice cube encasing my heart.

As he closed the front door, exited my patio (it was cold that day so I didn't go to the gate to kiss him goodbye), I was thinking "Damn you! Damn you to hell!" Because I knew that the brownies were gone and I was going to have no choice now but to use them for the altruistic purpose that I originally purported to want them for.

Of course, since 48 hours have passed, now I am extremely grateful to him. I did not need those extra calories; I did not need the diabetic response that I would certainly have had in response to eating them. I did need a hostess gift for Saturday. And my cravings for them are 100% gone. But I have another issue.

When sent the first box of brownies, I was also awarded enough points to receive a second box. Sherrie stipulated that they were for me to send to a friend, not to bring into my own home. (I'm sure that has to do with advertising for her Send Out Cardswebsite, which is a dandy one indeed!) OF course I"m pretty sure that if I ordered them for my home with some kind of story that I'm going to give them away, she would be fine with that, but if I order them for here, I will be setting myself up to want to eat them again, and damn! It was hard enough to resist them the first time. Trust me, they were amazing. I can still smell them in the window of my mind. No way would I even admit their arrival, let alone their demise, the second time around.

So that brings me to you. Would anybody like a box of brownies delivered to their front door? Or their office? Or to a friend? Anywhere you would like them to go, I can have them sent.

If so, please leave your comment after this post. Like contests in other blogs before this one, if there is more than one response, I will award them (on Sunday) via random number generator. I will place my order to be shipped directly to wherever you would like them received. (A friend? An enemy?) Of course that means that I have to be able to reach you via e-mail or you need to watch this blog enough to respond if announce you as the winner.

If nobody wants the brownies, I will then order them for Mom. But frankly, her home is already a cornicopia for sweet stuff, so if they can go elsewhere, it's better.

I think that the ordering house stipulates continental US only, so please nothing out of the lower 48.

Thank you. Looking forward to seeing who responds.