Cosmos - In Memorium

Born - 1996
Adopted - November, 1999
Passed, October 2, 2009

We struggled long and hard during his illness. He did not want to leave me, even at the end. He was so brave, and he loved me with complete abandon.

He loved me when I adopted him.
He loved me when nobody could stand me.
He loved me in my sickness and health.
He loved me in his sickness and health.
He loved me, even as I changed into a different person.
He loved me, even as I applied needle and drug during his last eight months to sustain life.
He loved me when he passed.

I have been blessed with the support of so many kind friends. But still, even though I know deep in my heart that he couldn't have lasted much longer, and that his struggle to live had turned into intense suffering, I still feel like I've betrayed my best friend.

From Elissa:

No betrayal...

It was time.

Nothing left to do.

Bye bye little Cosmos...you certainly entertained us over the years.

Nothing left to do.

I have loved each and every one of my dogs. I've had many over the years. Taking in unplacable rescue dogs, they are generally middle aged or older, in poor health, and emotionally damaged. The bonds between each of them and me have been intense. But I've never experienced anything like what I had with Cosmos. The intensity of the bond, the slavish devotion, the willingness to put up with anything to please me.


Thank you to Elena for sending me this poem by Kipling:

The Power of a Dog

There is sorrow enough in the natural way
From men and women to fill our day;
And when we are certain of sorrow in store,
Why do we always arrange for more?
Brothers and Sisters, I bid you beware
Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.

Buy a pup and your money will buy
Love unflinching that cannot lie --
Perfect passion and worship fed
By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.
Nevertheless it is hardly fair
To risk your heart for a dog to tear.

When the fourteen years which Nature permits
Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits,
And the vet's unspoken prescription runs
To lethal chambers or loaded guns,
Then you will find -- it's your own affair --
But . . . you've given your heart to a dog to tear.

When the body that lived at your single will,
With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!)
When the spirit hat answered your every mood
Is gone -- wherever it goes -- for good,
You will discover how much you care,
And will give your heart to a dog to tear.

We've sorrow enough in the natural way,
When it comes to burying Christian clay.
Our loves are not given, but only lent,
At compound interest of cent per cent.
Though it is not always the case, I believe,
That the longer we've kept'em, the more do we grieve;

For, when debts are payable, right or wrong,
A short-time loan is as bad as a long --
So why in -- Heaven (before we are there)
Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?

He was incredibly funny. He was incredibly bright. He was loved by many.

Our bed seems empty without him.

I miss him. I don't know how to go on without him.