Monday, June 1, 2009

The Doggie Handbook, Chapter 11: The Bed, Paragraph 11

Once you have established that the master bed in your home belongs to you and not your subservient human, it is time to understand sleeping protocol. Upon entry onto the throne, proceed directly to the center. Scratch at the covers several times to ensure that they are mussed to your satisfaction. It is permissible to turn in little circles - always to the right - during this process. After this step, turn - again to the right - a minimum of three circles and then settle down with a moan of satisfaction. However, you must, and I repeat you MUST ensure that you are in the direct center of said bed, and that your position is horizontal (at a 90 degree angle) to that preferred by your humans. If they wish to join you in the bed, they may arrange themselves around your position of preference at your pleasure. Or they may sleep on the sofa.

5 comments:

LI Laura said...

This can also be found in the Cat Handbook, Chapter 6. (It's amazing how much room a cat can take up on a double bed!)

Ang said...

Cosmos is living the life of Momma's bed right now!

((((hugs to you both)))

jo said...

This post brought me out of my funk to leave a comment.

Love it, live it, get it.

lol

Jo

Summer said...

Soooo true. Our two little yorkies must have read this book cover to cover!

Adele said...

Same scenario when Steve goes to bed first. I am at the mercy of where he loses consciousness, because once he does, he's stuck like glue. As an extra added bonus: often lurking in the bed is something that vibrates, beeps or rings.

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