Monday, March 16, 2009

Where's Rhino?

9:30 PM - No action in Rhino's cage. As I am prone to, I peer in the side nervously. Don't see Rhino. Imagine what it will be like to tell Gabby that yes, I confiscated her hamster because she wasn't taking proper care of him, and now - on my watch - he is dead. I blow on the tiny lump of fur in the far corner who's coat blends so beautifully with his litter that you can barely see him. He awakens and glares at me. If my hand was in the cage, he would bite me. No kidding.

10:30 PM - Eric calls. I am just finishing up pilling my dogs for the night. As I talk to Eric, I walk to the cage and discover Rhino is now awake, on the second level of his condominium, eating dinner. He - Rhino - looks at me, runs back down to the bottom level of his cage, and comes to the front door. I grab his hamster-ball, put him in it, and release him. He runs by Cosmos who is at first startled, then follows the ball to the hallway, then thinks better of it, looks a little disturbed, and rejoins me in the dining room.

10:35 PM - Eric warns me not to let my dogs get Rhino. Rhino rolls into the studio where I now am sitting, and bumps into Sunny's foot. Sunny, sleeping, is at first startled, then intrigued by this small animal who has presented himself. I assure Eric that I think Rhino can take either or both of my dogs at this point.

10:50 PM - I hang up the phone with Eric, and work a little more on the necklace/earrings that I am almost done embroidering.

11:15 PM - Cosmos is ready to go to bed. I put him in his (our) bed, then go to the living room to turn out the lights. Discover Rhino's open cage, and realize that I have forgotten him. Listen for the sound of the ball rolling. No sound. Check around the living room including underneath the furniture. No hamster. Check in the studio and the bedroom. No luck.

11:18 PM - Think "Oh Shit!" to myself, notice that Sunny is now in bed and looking oddly contented. Like he had a late night snack. "Oh Shit!"

11:19 PM - Run through the living room, dining room, and kitchen again, to no avail.

11:20 PM - Check the studio and the bedroom. No hamster.

11:21 PM - Check the front door. It is closed. Look at the coat and hallway closets. They are closed too. Think to myself that if Sunny had eaten Rhino, he is not that subtle. There would be pieces of plastic ball in a pile somewhere.

11:22 PM - Check the studio and the bedroom again. No hamster.

11:24 PM - Think about the situation. How am I going to explain this to Eric, let alone Gabby? Eric warned me!

11:25 PM - Decide that I am nuts. The hamster is around somewhere. He is prone to exercising like crazy for a while, then going to sleep. He's probably taking a nap somewhere.

11:30 PM - Still looking for the hamster. Still listening for the hamster. Remembering from when I was a child and had hamsters of my own. Loose hamsters always tuck themselves behind the largest piece of furniture in the house.

11:32 PM - Look under the sofa again. No hamster.

11:33 PM - Head towards the sideboard. Notice that there is something odd about the dining room table. Hamster - still in the ball - is stuck between the leg of the table and the leg of one of the chairs.

11:33.5 PM - Fearfully approach the ball, worrying that Rhino is dead in the ball. How would I explain it to Eric and Gabby?

11:34 PM - Find Rhino alive and well, desperately trying to dislodge his ball and start rolling again.

11:35 PM - Rhino is back in his cage, happily running on his wheel. I take a Xanax.

11:40 PM - Typing this recitation...


Beth said...

Sunny and Cosmos just think that Rhino is too small for the effort - LOL!!!

Anonymous said...

the dogs don't play hamster tennis like my cats do?

LI Laura said...

As someone who has seriously considered getting a hamster and putting it in a ball for the entertainment of my cats, I find this hysterical!

Adele said...

Be careful with the ball. A couple of times, Ian didn't get the lid on quite right, and it popped off during Hammy's run. The balls just aren't what they used to be!


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