A Break in My Life

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I am hard at work these days. I finally mostly adjusted to being married with a family , and I'm figuring out how to carve time in my schedule for myself. It turned out to be as simple as everybody advised.  Just schedule activities and go do them.  But that's not an easy thing for me to do... I tend to get caught up in family dramas and then am disappointed to miss get-together s and all the things that I need outside of my daily life. Despite the best of intentions, I've lost track of many of my old friends. But the good ones, and I mean the really good ones, are very forgiving of me without a second thought, and I even accomplished a spin in at my home a couple weeks ago with another scheduled for October.   When Eric and I found this masterpiece of home  last year,  I immediately thought that this is the home of my dreams. It's very functional; almost everything works, but it still is eccentric as can be. It's definitely a place to have friends, groups, meetings, and parties at. I thought that this is the perfect place to create a repeat of what my friend Garen has done with her home in Hollywood, but in the valley!  So I hear you asking..why is it that I only had my first friends over a couple weeks ago?

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Although I come over as eccentric as can be and fairly self secure, one thing that really bothers me is physical chaos in the home. Fact: when we moved in on New Year's Eve, we needed six moving trucks. That's right, SIX, and they were stuffed to the gills!  That's a lot of unpacking to do.

Then in April I had a terrible accident on a stupid hike that nothing should ever had happened on. Not only was my elbow shattered into 67 places, requiring all sorts of metal and screws, cadaver bone, tendons, wire,and I don't even know what else,

but the CRPS that I was given in my right ankle, foot, and leg so long ago leaped into my arm and hand.  Even without the CRPS, it was questionable how much use I was going to have of the arm again. I was warned to do nothing.  Not even get out of bed.  This was a command from the doctor that operated on me and strong advice from all the other medical professionals who were treating me for any of my ailments. The injury itself was so critical that I was not even allowed to ride in a car. The vibrations from the road alone could shake the elbow pieces apart and they could not be repaired again. There were so many tiny pieces but not everything was even able to be glued let alone bolted together. And although those of you who know me well know that I did not stop in my activities and ignored his advice to certain extent, the injury slowed me down significantly.

Additionally, I had to reassociate myself with the pain management center at Cedars-Sinai for weekly nerve blocks. Which I am still receiving.  I just couldn't get the house in good enough shape to have people over; at least in my mind. But finally do to diligence and a lot of hard work even though we're not completely unpacked, the fact is I'm comfortable inviting my friends now and the truth is they wouldn't have minded if I have had them over and in the massive chaos. I clearly need to work on these insecurities still with my therapist.

Not only have I broken through the barrier heating me from having people into the home, but I've also recently learned to get out. I started taking classes at Creative Castle again;  a wonderful beading store that brings in master level teachers to teach working artists as well as beginners how to do what they do better. The staff are all incredibly generous and giving people; incredibly knowledgeable in beading and arts of all sorts, and. I love each and every one  of them dearly. This weekend, in fact, I will be taking a class from Huib Peterson and I will be learning how to make his eternity necklace.

 (You should know that my hand is still not functioning well enough to type, so I'm writing these posts by using the dictation function on my i Pad. I had to correct the description of the
necklace by hand as the microphone he insists that eternity is attorney. I am NOT making an attorney necklace no matter how famous the teacher is!  I hope my attorney friends forgive me for the statement.) I can bead again, albeit slowly. But the important thing is that I am free to enjoy the process.

For years since I've been married,  I've lamented not being able to get out of the house and do activities, and reconnect with my friends on my own. Eric advised me to just go and forget what's happening here, but I couldn't do it. But something happened a couple of months ago and suddenly I found the strength to take classes again. I'm not sure quite what that something is but I'm glad that it came to me. I feel like I've gone from being dead inside to my old self being partly alive. Mind you I will never be the person who I was again. I love being married to Eric and I love our children. To be completely my old self is to be single and I don't want that in any way,  shape, or form. While I still struggle with some aspects of married life,I love my life as it is and wouldn't go back to the old for ANYTHING!

Right after I broke my arm,though, you should know that there was a question whether the arm would be functional at all or even if I would keep it!  I have a very good track record of healing from orthopedic injuries and maintained a positive attitude, but this was an injury far beyond anything I've ever done to myself before. I've been incredibly lucky. Despite limitations that are likely here for life the arm and hand is mostly functional and I can move on. But during those dark days when people were warned me not to get my expectations too high, I couldn't even fathom not being in the art world anymore. And, as usual, my mind took a left turn to find a solution. Being eccentric is not a bad thing. All it is is having a different way of analyzing problems and coming up with solutions. And boy was it helpful in this case!

Eric and I discussed my idea. You see, Eric was starting up on his business too,that would  include making and revamping websites.   Remember the old craze of flipping houses?  Eric is going to be a website flipper. And my plan was a great way to start.

We will both worked very hard and found a perfect website template to start with.  Eric is hard at work right now creating an online art gallery focusing on crafts for me to operate.  This is perfect for both of us ... a business that we co-ventured into together!  This idea utilizes our greatest strengths cooperatively in a most marvelous way. I will be talking about the steps we've already gone through and what we are doing to make this dream come true. Our plans are to have a bare-bones stripped-down Gallery open by mid to end of October,and then continue adding all sorts of bells and whistles to it into next year until it is a place that artists will die to be represented in and shoppers will love to visit. I love Etsy and I love many of the art galleries I've seen online, but this one is going to be very different and much more personal. But that's all I'm going to talk about in this venture right now... Except that this blog will be moving to the new website as one of its features in the very near future.

Please don't worry, I promise that all the best of what I have here will come with us. I will be merging some of the other blogs that I maintained - or better not yet not maintained - here into this blog too so my blogspot site will not exist anymore.  ButI will leave instructions behind how to find us and it should be a positive experience for all. There was so much to talk about it when we get to the new site there will be more yet!  Just wait-and-see!!!!

And now I need to go start the day.  I will write at you later!

Bye, but just fOr a little while.