Resolutions, 2009

In 2008, I failed my resolutions. It was not for lack of trying. Keeping 100% of my 2007 resolutions was a fabulous experience; made me feel, well, kind of proud. But last year, I was just so sick... too sick a good portion of the time to get out of bed. Way too sick to endeavour adventures outside of the home.

I'd look at those resolutions, written on the front page of my day planner, at least once a month, sometimes more. They were more torture to me than inspiration. As each month would go by, I'd think I'd just do one of the easy ones, the fun ones (well, actually they all were pretty fun), but then I just couldn't.

But in the last three weeks, I've been finally diagnosed with what ails me, and this morning, after they doubled the strength of my antibiotic yesterday, I'm actually feeling a wee bit better. Not well enough to dance a jig in honor of my health. Not well enough to even feel assured that the trend is going to continue. But last night, my fever only went up to 99.8 rather than the 102 plus degrees of the prior eight weeks, and I only had to change my sheets once. Progress.

And so I am feeling just a little more positive this morning, and thought I'd post my resolutions.

1. I will visit the Los Angeles County Coroner's Gift Shop,
Skeletons in the Closet. Yes, I know that it's kind of a macabre idea, but it's "haunted" me for years now and I would like to see the tacky operation that I know it must be. And I want to own my very own toe tag.

2. I will attend an event at the Disney Concert Hall. I don't care what it is. I don't even care that it's Disney. I just want to see it.

3. I will establish a shop to sell my crafts in Etsy. Like my blog, it's going to be called "I'm Making It." I checked. The shop title is available.

4. I will take at least four classes / workshops.

5. I will complete my will. Before y'all start applying to be the beneficiary, you should know that I don't have much left after being on disability for five years, but what I have is going to Adele. She will know what to do with it. Sorry.

6. I will go to The Counter in Santa Monica for a hamburger. I've wanted to go there for years now, having heard John H- wax on rhapsodically about it. Just so you know, I don't think that Richard approves of it; I don't care.

7. I will weave a throw blanket. If I have the energy, I will start the warp for it today.

8. I will - finally - complete the rough draft of my book and pitch it to be published. (It's just too close not to finish this one if health at all permits.)

9. I will start paying for my exercise classes again. This should be possible within the next sixty days once my Social Security and Medicare paperwork comes through. I'm sick of being a charity case.

10. I will complete my Social Security Paperwork. Note to self: I need to start looking for my original Birth Certificate today, before the papers arrive in the mail. My experience with Social Security over the past four years, attempting to get my Disability prodcessed and approved, tells me that they will do pretty-much anything to stall the process. They are not getting me on this one.

11. I will sign up for Medicare. Obvious, but a separate process than Social Security.

12. I will learn to download and play music from the internet. End goal? An IPOD. Welcome me to the year 2000.

13. I will get my car tuned up. This is another activity which is completely dependant upon #'s 10 and 11 being completed and the financial implications thereof.

You will notice that I do not do nebulous Resolutions like "I will lose weight" or "I will exercise more" or "I will be more productive" or "I will be happier" in 2009. I believe that Resolutions should be very specific and measurable. They are supposed to inspire you to do things you might not otherwise do or have always wanted to do; achieve things and grow in ways that you know you would like to move.

It's not that I don't plan to work on the others. But I look upon them more as "goals" than "resolutions." They are just something that I should strive to achieve, but as a part of everyday living. They are lifestyle choices, not specifically actionable. They require a shift in my perceptions and choices, and how do you determine when you are successful at them? Making them "Resolutions" is a recipe to feel like a failure.

I believe that through specific actions, even those not related to my goals, my self esteem will be improved and my goals will be more likely to be met too. That belief has worked well for me in the past.

Now, please, just let my body heal enough that I can achieve both. Resolutions AND Goals.

Happy New Year, 2009!