On Being A Dog: A "Cosmos" Post

I love to Blog (I have a much wider audience than by e-mailing my immediate friends). There are times that I must Blog about my Mom, especially when she makes a fool (I almost typed food) out of herself.

I am a dog and being thus distinguished, there are some things that are simply apparent.

I will eat any food so long as it is not fruit or vegetable.
I like to sleep a lot.
I like to go for walks every day. They give me opportunity to pick up my pee-mail.
And I enjoy passing copious amounts of gas.

The thing about people is that they think they don't like my gas. Mom included. She complains of course, but underneath her negative commentary is a sense of relief. You see, she passes gas too and thank God for me. She can blame it on me when her friends are over.

Last night, she thought she really had me. She ate curry in her dinner and was thus affected. She tooted and tooted the whole night long. I overheard her laughing about it with her friends, and I even heard her say that she got "revenge' upon me.

She just never get's it. She doesn't understand. I am a dog. I love all things disgusting.

I live for curry farts.

The Sky is Falling!

The sky was foreboding. Rain was in the immediate forecast. I walked the dogs and fortunately made it home before it began.

I don't know if you can tell from this picture, but in my condominium complex, even the trees seem to sense when the weather is about to change. They huddle in on themselves.

I sat down to make Eric's bolero tie for tomorrow's Bar Mitzvah. And when I looked out my window, realized by the fact that my rosebush was standing on it's side that the rain had begun.
Cosmos, ever suspicious of the sky's activities, had to be let out to inspect the situation.
"Where is the sky who dares drop water on my back?" he thinks. "This is unacceptable."
And once he had formulated the thought, realized that if he came inside, he could proceed immediately to the dog-drying station.
Where he would receive a nice terrycloth massage.
Sunny, jealous of the attention that Cosmos was getting, thought about going outside to get wet too, but then thought better of it. I gave him a brief massage so that he wouldn't feel left out. Since his hair is so much thicker than Cozie's, he emits quite an odor when wet and I don't want him in the elements unless he really needs to be.
Cosmos, always a fan of the TV newscast and especially the weather report, proceeded directly to the studio where - to his pleasure and delight - they were broadcasting almost continual weather reports. Except, of course, for the Brittany news, but even from that remote location, it was raining so he was happy.
"Hmmmm," he thought. "It looks like the sky has just begun it's unacceptable activities. They are saying that there is more water coming in from up north."
"Who cares about Bakersfiend and Fresno? The sky is misbehaving right here outside of my front door!"
"The sky is going to blow air at me too? This is truly unacceptable."
"And by the way, where is Fritz when I need him? Who is this substitute weather person? Fritz would have tamed that naughty sky."
"Mom may need a spiritual advisor to tell her of her future, but all I have to do is consult my 'magic window' to know what the sky is going to do. Now I need to go and tell it off."
And while Cosmos was outside once again, barking at the sky that was certainly throwing water at him, I stood back and admired the bolero tie that Eric will be wearing at tomorrow's event.
Hmmmmm. I do good work if I have to say so myself.