On Being A Dog: A "Cosmos" Post

I love to Blog (I have a much wider audience than by e-mailing my immediate friends). There are times that I must Blog about my Mom, especially when she makes a fool (I almost typed food) out of herself.

I am a dog and being thus distinguished, there are some things that are simply apparent.

I will eat any food so long as it is not fruit or vegetable.
I like to sleep a lot.
I like to go for walks every day. They give me opportunity to pick up my pee-mail.
And I enjoy passing copious amounts of gas.

The thing about people is that they think they don't like my gas. Mom included. She complains of course, but underneath her negative commentary is a sense of relief. You see, she passes gas too and thank God for me. She can blame it on me when her friends are over.

Last night, she thought she really had me. She ate curry in her dinner and was thus affected. She tooted and tooted the whole night long. I overheard her laughing about it with her friends, and I even heard her say that she got "revenge' upon me.

She just never get's it. She doesn't understand. I am a dog. I love all things disgusting.

I live for curry farts.

Doh! (Slapping the forehead a la Homer Simpson)

I'm really missing my camera. That being said, the fortunate thing is that I have a huge bank of pictures available to publish along with the pics that interest me on the internet. Yesterday morning, I got up early and filled out all the paperwork to have it - the camera - repaired. I found the receipt which Eric printed out for me last Sunday. Located the original Fuji FinePix box and taped the address label onto the front. (Did you know that if you print a barcode out on an address label, the Post Office claims that they will deliver your package one day sooner?) Found the bubble paper that I had lovingly stored in my hall closet instead of popping it as I would have been more inclined to do had I acted on my impulse. And, after a lengthy search for the actual camera, packed the whole she-bang up. Weighed it. Stuck a bunch of stamps on. And laid it out in the entryway to be taken to the Post Office. My intention was to drop the package off during the same trip (by car because of the rain) in which I was to go to the market. But silly me, being distracted as usual, I forgot. When I got home, I was quite upset with myself, but I looked at the clock. 4:30. One half hour until the last scheduled pick-up. The Tarzana Post Office is an interesting place. Tarzana, a suburb of Los Angeles, actually was named for Tarzan. Burroughs lived here when he wrote the series. They have a whole display of Tarzan memorabilia in the lobby to view while waiting in line. And I enjoy walking there since it's maybe 1/4 mile from my front door. 4:30pm. One half hour until the last pick-up. One half hour until I was due in Richard's Monday night chat. I could make it. I quickly changed into my walking shoes and, ignoring the dog's pleas for an early dinner, grabbed the box and headed out the door. A quick right once outside of my complex, and a left at the corner. Through the pedestrian-only underpass at the 101 freeway (it stinks in there) and, upon emerging at the other side, I am at my destination. And confused. Where normally there would be a lot of traffic and tons of cars parked in the lot, there were only a few people coming and going. I thought to myself "It must be the rain" and hurried along. But realized, when I burst through the front door, that "Doh! I am not always the brightest gal in town." It was Martin Luther King's birthday and the Post Office was closed. The rain has begun. It's supposed to rain pretty heavily for the next week or so, and so I have set up the dog-drying station just inside of my front door. (Sorry. No camera, no pictures.) 100% of the dogs surveyed disapprove of the sky dropping water on their backs. Both dogs do enjoy their walks though, and in a last-ditch attempt to lose measurable weight before I am forced to have my knee surgically fixed, I'm walking them rather extensively on a daily basis. Thank goodness that the rain and walking are not mutually exclusive. Both dogs could appear on a fashion runway. Both dogs own raincoats. Cosmos shows off his 'designer' duds. Yes, it says "It's Raining Cats and Dogs." Sunny, in his preferred more rugged look. Cosmos: "Who is this sky that drops water on me?" Sunny: "Walk! Walk! Walk! Walk..." Do you like Pina Colada? Getting caught in the rain?