Eleven After Ten

In my home, we keep to a certain schedule. Up at 7:00am to let the dogs out and maybe feed them, maybe not, then back to bed. I have autoimmune issues and they tend to be the worse in the morning so I sleep late whenever possible.

Up at 8:30 to feed the dogs if I didn't do it earlier because by 8:30 am, Cosmos is crying like a baby, a miserable dog who's lament is that he is being starved to death. Immediately following breakfast, dogs go out again (or I take them for a walk if it's a good morning) because if I don't let them out, Sunny will stand at the door and bark at me until I do. In the meantime, Cosmos will be 1.) Peeing in his dog dish, 2.) Peeing in Sunny's dog dish, or 3.) Peeing in the doorway to the bedroom.

The daylight hours vary depending on what I have scheduled. Doctor's appointments are a constant, and on the days - a lot lately - that I'm not feeling so well, I spend a lot of time in bed. The dogs go in and out as they please when I'm home as I leave the front door open for their pleasure. (We have a front patio; I keep the gate to that locked so there are no mistaken escapes.)

11am is dog biscuit time. As is 12pm, 1:30pm, 4:00 pm, and then it's dinner by 6:00. It's the happy dog that gets fed the evening meal early and it happens occasionally. Especially on the evenings that I go to exercise class but also on those days that I don't want to listen to Cosmos's piteous whine about hunger.

The evening goes sporatically. Cosmos will follow me wherever I go in the condo (it's not very big), especially to the kitchen where he demands yet another biscuit for himself and his brother. And if he can get me to feed him directly from the refrigerator, he's even happier.

9:00pm, and it's time for the final walk of the day if I'm feeling well enough, or the final time in the yard if I'm not. Then comes a question of bed.

Cosmos is in favor of bed. He believes that the mattress in the middle of my bedroom with the sheets and pillows belongs to him. He will allow me to share it with him, but there is no question as to who is in charge.

When the evening constitutional is complete, he thinks that he should be put directly into the sleep mode. This belief has become worse as he becomes a - ahem - mature dog, but is an old pattern. If I am in the bedroom, he starts whining again until I help him up. In the old days when he was younger, he was capable of jumping in on his own, but now he needs an assist.

Sometimes I help him right away; sometimes I don't. One thing that is true is he is my shadow and if I leave the bedroom, he will jump out of the bed to follow me. I don't like that much stress on his old bones, so if I think I'm not done for the evening, I try to ignore him and let him stay on the floor.

There comes a time, though, that enough is enough. Cosmos's threshold of pain has been surpassed and it's time. He must go to bed and he must go to bed now. That time would be exactly 10:11 pm. I don't know how he knows, but somehow he has an internal mechanism that helps him recognize when the moment is upon us.

When I am home alone, at 10:11 he comes to me and I put him in the bed. I can then go on to do whatever is happening and he will stay put. But when Eric is over, it is a different matter.

Cosmos likes Eric well enough... after all, Eric feeds him treats from the table fairly regularly. No, the relationship is not like Eric & Sunny. Sunny worships the ground that Eric walks on and Cosmos is nothing if he is not a Mama's boy. But he's generally happy when Eric comes to visit.

That all changes at 10:11 pm. At that moment, Cosmos needs to go to bed but we have company. It is a dog's duty to monitor the activities of visitors and although I might put Cozie in the bed, he will not stay. Instead, he will jump out and cry and cry and cry, sounding like a rusty hinge and a squeeky spring in out-of-tune harmony, until I look at Eric in desperation - have I told you that Eric is a very good sport? - and ask if we can all go get into the bed together. And so the three of us trudge into the bedroom.

I put Cosmos in first, then Eric enters from the other side. Finally I get in and Cozie is the meat in the sandwich. We pet him from both sides and you'd think he'd be happy, but that is not the case. He does not approve of sharing his bed with Eric and makes no bones about it. He looks at Eric with distain and leans against me. He drapes himself over me... first his head over my neck and then his entire dog body over my abdomen. Finally he crawls over me to the mattress edge and leans against me on the far side of me from Eric, moaning underneath his breath. We will usually stay like that until Eric has to go home.

There was the evening recently that I had to get up to do something and leave the two of them in bed. To convey Cosmos's feelings in full, I think a picture is worth a thousand words. So here is your challenge. Eric is in the bed outside of the perimeter of the picture. Can you tell me what you think Cosmos is thinking?

Dogs Rule

Both of my dogs are getting up there in years. Given that, like grumpy old men, they are getting really set in their ways. Especially Cosmos.

He has certain - ahem - rituals that must be adhered to. Breakfast at 7. Biscuit at 10. Dinner at 5. And it's time to go to bed prompty at 9:30pm. His bed, which he kindly allows me to share.
When it's time to put him into the bed, he comes to me. Aggitated. Insistant. Crying like a squeaky wheel. And when I ask him if he would like me to put him into the bed, he reacts clearly. A very relieved expression on his face at a minimum. Often he will get up and run in little circles in anticipation. And sometimes I get the impatient bark. "Ok, get on with it. Help me jump in."

When we're by ourselves, I can put him into the bed (he requires assistance these days because he's too arthritic to jump in on his own) and then go on about my own business. But when Eric is over, he needs to monitor the situation. Be sure that Eric is aware that I belong to him. So on those Friday nights that we decide to stay in, we will typically go into the studio and watch TV, Cozie on the floor. And when it's time for him to go to bed, he can still hear what is going on.

This evening was different, though. We decided, ah - around 10pm, that it would be nice to have a cup of tea. I went up into the kitchen to prepare it while Eric stayed behind on my computer. Later joining me at the kitchen table, Cosmos at our feet.

Cozie was clearly aggitated. Not connecting the time with his distress, I initially thought he was looking for a biscuit. I admonished him, telling him that it was just too late to eat and that he would have to do without. But after a little while, it dawned on me that he was ready for bed and it was not acceptable that we should populate the front of the condominium at a time like that.

I asked him if he would like me to put him into the bed. An immediate sharp bark of approval. I got up and he spun in circles so fast that he was hardly even a blur. We walked back, I helped him in, and then I went out front to rejoin Eric.

Within five minutes, I heard a thud in the bedroom, and then Cosmos appeared from out of the hall. Clearly irritated. Tired. Not prepared to put up with this nonsense. He came to us, gave me a pointed stare of disgust, and then proceeded to cry. Loudly.

I looked at Eric helplessly. Asked him if he would mind joining us in the back room. Being the consumate good sport, he immediately agreed.

And so it came to be that the dog hijacked our date night. I put Cozie into the bed, I joined him, and Eric joined us on the other side. We both pet Cosmos although he made it quite clear that only I was important. He pointedly looked away from Eric and rested his head on my waist. And then, to seal the deal, he insisted that I move between him and Eric and he (we) napped, Cosmos pressing up against my back.

Yes, I was the meat-in-the-sandwich. The only thing that would have made it "perfect" was if 'Torn between two lovers' had been softly playing on the radio.

A Good Night's Sleep

Where, exactly, is it written that the dog must sleep in his (our) bed in such a way that there is no room for the servant (me)? And why, exactly, must I let sleeping dogs lie?